omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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