So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
