so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
it's like iHOP with fire
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no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
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The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.