your parents love me but you hate me
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
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He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
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I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.