ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?