i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
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I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
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Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person