just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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