Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize