you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize