Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
