in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
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I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
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there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
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