it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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