I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
What happened to fro yo and sex?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died