when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
