Sponge bath it is.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
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You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
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You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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