well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.