What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar