I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.