I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
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I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.