Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.