Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."