Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
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We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
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So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm getting married
To pizza
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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