if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
