did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
