wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize