We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
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So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The feeling are messing with the penis
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.