Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me