He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
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This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
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You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.