in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
