perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila