Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.