sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.