Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
