I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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