Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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