So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
well you can't waste a boner
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
