i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize