We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize