theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
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he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
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I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person