What did we do last night that was yellow?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?