You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will