It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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