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• (305): View more from Florida

  i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska

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• (657): View more from California

  You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.

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• (707): View more from California

  Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.

  (713): View more from Texas

  That's okay. He needs friends too.

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