Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.