I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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