Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.