Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  mustard is like jesus in yellow tights

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): mustard is like jesus in yellow tights http://tfl.nu/uvec
  Replies (9) Good night (1520) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  babies were throwing up all over the place

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): babies were throwing up all over the place http://tfl.nu/onjb
  Replies (10) Good night (637) Bad night (2622)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy http://tfl.nu/rk38
  Replies (16) Good night (6578) Bad night (1204)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country http://tfl.nu/39z8
  Replies (16) Good night (4893) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now. http://tfl.nu/sqxt
  Replies (4) Good night (2322) Bad night (1396)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training http://tfl.nu/euvl
  Replies (10) Good night (4497) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko http://tfl.nu/v0ui
  Replies (18) Good night (4137) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report. http://tfl.nu/3xqn
  Replies (9) Good night (4036) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka. http://tfl.nu/8f21
  Replies (13) Good night (2576) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?

  (226): View more from Ontario

  Don't answer that. It is bad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (226): Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice? (226): Don't answer that. It is bad. http://tfl.nu/e65p
  Replies (5) Good night (1291) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter. http://tfl.nu/dz88
  Replies (3) Good night (1046) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  How did work go after you told them you were in jail?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Great they tried to bail me out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): How did work go after you told them you were in jail? (402): Great they tried to bail me out. http://tfl.nu/vh27
  Replies (1) Good night (927) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever. http://tfl.nu/8rzl
  Replies (1) Good night (612) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her http://tfl.nu/5w2j
  Replies (0) Good night (334) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it http://tfl.nu/85wu
  Replies (4) Good night (261) Bad night (565)

Randomize