you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize