my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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