Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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