ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
How naked do you want me to be?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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