i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize