he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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