i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
