You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
