those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I would fuck him just for his dog
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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