you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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