I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize