things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
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He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
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N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.