kristin has been a bad kristin
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
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In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg