fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
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we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
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Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?