and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.