i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
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Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.