I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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