Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize