I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.