so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.