Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.

(1-302): View more from Delaware

You mean inside out.

(302): View more from Delaware

No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.

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(302): I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down. (1-302): You mean inside out. (302): No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist. http://tfl.nu/eio3

Replies (20) Good night (7751) Bad night (1125)
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(760): View more from California

Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.

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(760): Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros. http://tfl.nu/aucf

Replies (19) Good night (732) Bad night (3612)
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(440): View more from Ohio

My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.

(216): View more from Ohio

whore

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(440): My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum. (216): whore http://tfl.nu/bo5h

Replies (13) Good night (4167) Bad night (1118)
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(406): View more from Montana

That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.

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(406): That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays. http://tfl.nu/wjf7

Replies (25) Good night (4948) Bad night (1017)
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(315): View more from New York

I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in

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(315): I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in http://tfl.nu/b3qn

Replies (15) Good night (7451) Bad night (1180)
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(909): View more from California

that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though

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(909): that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though http://tfl.nu/jicr

Replies (4) Good night (2298) Bad night (851)
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(817): View more from Texas

I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs

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(817): I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs http://tfl.nu/vj8z

Replies (11) Good night (4887) Bad night (1084)
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(214): View more from Texas

There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.

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(214): There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me. http://tfl.nu/ecsp

Replies (13) Good night (2970) Bad night (858)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill

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(313): Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill http://tfl.nu/vbjy

Replies (8) Good night (2789) Bad night (1165)
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(626): View more from California

yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably

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(626): yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably http://tfl.nu/rjum

Replies (9) Good night (684) Bad night (2200)
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(760): View more from California

I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.

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(760): I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/o963

Replies (7) Good night (988) Bad night (405)
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(301): View more from Maryland

He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.

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(301): He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home. http://tfl.nu/hk8n

Replies (15) Good night (1711) Bad night (549)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.

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(505): So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused. http://tfl.nu/omzp

Replies (1) Good night (386) Bad night (448)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth

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(203): Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth http://tfl.nu/ampl

Replies (3) Good night (532) Bad night (393)
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(713): View more from Texas

My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"

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(713): My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN" http://tfl.nu/ihut

Replies (4) Good night (868) Bad night (462)

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