I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?