she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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