what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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