I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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