Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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