I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize