I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.