just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.