OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
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I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
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I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...