I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
